Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?

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(817): View more from Texas

He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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(208): View more from Idaho

can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?

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(214): View more from Texas

So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom

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(801): View more from Utah

walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.

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(214): View more from Texas

Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?

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