It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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