Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
