sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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