I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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