Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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