If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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