we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
