glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
