You know, be my cock's hype man.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
