Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
