i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
