so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
