I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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