And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
People in love make me want to vomit
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The struggles of a small town man whore
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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