So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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