i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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