I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
