She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
