adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
