I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Fuck appropriateness.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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