Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
