Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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