hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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