FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
