Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
