I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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