In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
