Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
