did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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