my mouth tastes like poor choices
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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