Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
