Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
