Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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