Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
