he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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