nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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