Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
