I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
