so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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