Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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