She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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