she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
