Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
two words: eviction party
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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