Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your penis caused this!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
