Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize