The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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