I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
