You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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