Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just puked most of my soul out..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
