that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
