Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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