i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
