If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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