but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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