I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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