i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize