the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
