This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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