ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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