Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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