Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
