You just made me feel so damn special
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
