16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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