her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
