What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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