Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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