I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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