dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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