I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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