they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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