I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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