i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
